


Here Without You

by I_cant_find_a_name



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s08e19 Alone, F/M, Friendship/Love, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_cant_find_a_name/pseuds/I_cant_find_a_name
Summary: Mulder and Scully face up to the difficulties in their relationship since his return, and how Agent Doggett fits in. This is looking at their conversation once Mulder returns from saving Doggett and Harrison, having discovered that Scully had re-gifted the Apollo 11 medallion, and how that resulted in their relationship seemingly being back on track by the time they visit Harrison in hospital at the end.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 30





	Here Without You

“Mulder, you know that you can just use your key,” she said wearily as he stepped through the door into her apartment. She had already turned away from him and was heading back to her bathroom where she had been going before his knocking interrupted her.

She was tired and wasn’t sure she had the energy for him to be all pissy over her ignoring the doctor, caring about a partner who wasn’t him and/or re-gifting one of the only birthday presents he’d ever given her. It was the last point which she knew would be the biggest issue and she wasn’t sure that there was anything she could say to stop his hurt. She took a deep breath and stepped back out to where he was waiting. He hadn’t sat down but was still standing only a couple of steps from the door, staring down at the medallion in his hand.

“You re-gifted,” he repeated, not looking up.

She let out a huff of irritation. _He isn’t even going to build up to it with spurious chatter,_ she thought to herself. _He’s going straight for the kill._ She wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or not.

“I gave it to Agent Doggett, yes,” she was agitated and annoyed, much as she had been with him when he visited her in the morgue the day before. She knew he was being protective of her and the baby, but she was fed up with his childish behaviour over Doggett.

“I found it as I was emptying our desk.”

“Our desk,” he repeated.

“Yes, Mulder, _our_ desk; yours and mine. The desk in the office where we worked together for nearly 7 years, where we forged our relationship, where we took on the work no one else would nor wanted us to do,” she was in no mood to pander to his petulant behaviour. “The desk where, although I find it hard to believe right now, we forged the most important friendship in my life; where I – _we_ – fell in love.”

He raised his head but only gave her a cursory glance before looking away. She raised her hands exasperated.

“My God, Mulder! What do you want me to say?!”

She stood there staring at him, unwilling to say another word until he did. He looked back down at the medallion and then he met her gaze. She could see the maelstrom of emotions fighting for dominance in his eyes.

“I guess,” he began, quietly, like her anger had turned him into a scared little boy. “I guess I want to know why.”

It was something to work on and she sighed away her initial anger and toned it down to irritation.

“I was thinking about us. I was thinking about how I had found myself with you, how you had given me so much, and how I would go to the moon and back for you,” she let out a little huff of amusement at the unintentional pun. “Because you were my partner. You _are_ my partner. You will _always_ be my partner, Mulder. But it began with just us, two FBI agents working cases. Two very different people, polar opposites, and yet neither of us would succeed in our work without the other. And that took work, and dedication, and trust, and love.”

She looked up at him, willing him to look at her and see the love in her eyes but he continued staring blankly at the floor.

“That medallion;” she continued. “It’s about teamwork, about what we can achieve together. Neither of us are going to return to the X-files, Mulder. And neither of us could have done the work we did without one another. But now that’s Agent Doggett's work to continue, and I was grateful for his partnership in the end and hope he can find a way to keep the team going.”

She sighed, exasperated, her hands on her hips, looking at him when a memory popped into her mind.

“You know, the first time I met him I threw my drink over him.”

He was jolted by her sudden shift in tone and looked up at her.

“Agent Doggett,” she continued as she thought through the incident. “I threw it right over him, right there, in front of everyone working on your case.”

He could see a playful look on her face, her eyes twinkling at him mischievously with a big grin. He tried to picture the scene and felt his anger dissolve into amusement at the thought of her initially disliking Doggett.

“You threw your drink over him?” he chuckled. “What was it? Coffee?”

“Just water. But he got the message,” her smile grew, as did his intrigue.

“What was the message?”

“That he didn’t know a damn thing about you and that I didn’t have the time of day for him.”

“What did he think he knew about me?” He was surprised Doggett would have any opinion on him.

“Oh that I didn’t really know you, that you didn’t trust me, and that you would confide these things to other women in the Bureau,” he saw her smile diminish slightly as she remembered the conversation and how upset she had been.

Mulder looked bemused. “Women in the Bureau? What women?!”

“You tell me! He seemed to paint you as quite the Casanova!”

“Well it’s true,” he asserted, his icy exterior melting. “I was sleeping with this woman in the Bureau, and I confided in her, told her everything. She knew I trusted you.”

He threw her a mischievous glance which she mock rolled her eyes at for his benefit, as a huge weight seemed to lift off them both.

“She was incredibly beautiful, you know,” he continued. “The most amazing blue eyes, gorgeous smile, infectious giggle, and her body... Well I just wanted to memorise every inch of it.”

She looked over at him, her eyebrow raised. “Was? She _was_ beautiful?”

“Oh Scully, she still is, but she doesn’t think so.”

“Shut up Mulder.”

He didn’t know how she did it. How could she, with one smile, drive away the darkest thoughts?

She felt him relax, a little surer of himself and unable to stay angry at her. He took off his jacket as she asked him if he wanted a drink but he stepped between her and the kitchen, telling her to rest up on the couch whilst he waited on her.

She’d more or less said she loved him, which seemed to reassure him that all hadn’t been lost during his absence. They’d been dancing around that subject since he returned; their relationship seemed more confusing than ever when he woke up to her 7 months pregnant. Neither of them were very good at outwardly speaking about their relationship, which was partly why it had taken them so long to acknowledge their love in the first place and become the couple they both knew they were. Drinks sorted, he crashed down on the settee next to her.

“So you didn’t like him, hey?” he resumed the conversation, not even trying to hide his joy to hear that.

“No, I didn’t. I didn’t like him at all, and that was even more the case once he was assigned to work with me,” she sipped her tea. His eyes were fixed on her, attentively waiting for her to continue.

“I was furious that this man, this ignorant, closed-minded jerk was assigned to the X-files, to _our_ work. I couldn’t stand him, Mulder,” she fixed him with her impassioned gaze, before looking away and continuing. “I didn’t like him because he didn’t understand how much I’d lost when you were taken. I didn’t like him because the idea of you being replaceable was abhorrent to me, impossible. I didn’t like him because he didn’t want to believe, because he didn’t respect the work we had done together, he didn’t accept the truth.”

She noted that his grin was gone, as he absorbed the strength of her feelings; feelings which she knew he'd never even considered.

“You are my partner, Mulder,” she repeated; steely, determined. “I could never want you to be replaced. I need you in a way I can’t explain, but it is a certainty I feel in every cell in my body. I will be beside you at the end of the world.”

Their eyes met and, for a moment, it was as though they were suspended in time.

“But you changed your mind about Doggett eventually?” he questioned.

“Eventually,” she paused. “I didn’t trust him for months, and that really upset him. Looking back, I could see that he was showing a loyalty to me, he wanted to protect me as his colleague, but I didn’t want him there. I didn’t want anyone but you and he wasn’t even the tiniest bit like you.

“I didn’t tell him about the pregnancy; I didn’t want him to know a damn thing about me... about us,” she trailed off, her mind preoccupied with memories of those first few months. “It felt so different to how we were when I was assigned to the X-files. I don’t know... maybe it was us? Maybe there was something there between us from the beginning? Maybe it’s more normal to have to build a partnership, to work on it, and what we had was unique?”

He had been mulling over what she had been saying and her question pulled from his contemplations, as she set her eyes on him, unsure about the answers.

“Maybe there was something there,” he started slowly. “I remember being amused that you’d been assigned to me, expected you to doubt everything, but yeah. There was something fascinating about you... Something... unexpected.”

She smiled at him gently, her brain tracing through all the little things he had done even from the beginning.

“I respected you,” it was his turn to fix her with his eyes. “I trusted you even though you were sent to debunk my work... I thought I’d see you as a threat, that you’d be someone who wouldn’t respect me, but you... you were, you _are_...”

His words trailed off as he brushed a stray hair from her face, his hand pausing there. She reached up and captured his hand in hers as she leaned her cheek into it.

“See?” she broke the silence quietly. “No one could ever compare to you.”

“I still don’t like him,” he hardened. “He likes you.”

“What?!”

“The way he looks at you... That’s more than just partners,” he protested.

“How does he look at me?” she was surprised; she hadn’t given Doggett a second thought beyond their working relationship.

“Like he wishes you’d like him back.”

“Mulder!” she scrunched her face in disbelief.

“Trust me Scully: I know that look. I had that look for seven years working with you.”

“No man is going to fall for this!” She gestured to her swollen belly.

“You’re more beautiful than you’ve ever been,” he countered. “I still check you out when you’re not looking.”

“Mulder?”

“Yes.”

“I always know when you’re checking me out. You’re not as subtle as you think,” she smirked.

“Uh, well, yeah... I mean,” his eyes had subconsciously dropped from her face and were resting on her swollen breasts.

“Mulder!” she exclaimed causing him to jolt back into the present, and his eyes flew up to focus on her face where he met her amused, playful eyes. She was a little surprised that he was clearly still attracted to her and they both grinned as their cheeks flushed slightly.

“He’s just a partner,” she returned to their original conversation. “You look out for your partner... and maybe me being pregnant means he feels that little bit more protective of me... Mulder,” she looked over at him. “He had my back. And whilst he struggled with and doubted the paranormal elements of the cases, he respected me. Surely you want me to have a partner who looks out for me, if you aren’t able to be there beside me? They could have assigned a Krycek to me; but they didn’t. Doggett is a good man.”

“I can’t fault him there,” he conceded. “I do believe that he will never let you down. He is loyal and I trust him to keep you safe. I just think it goes a bit deeper for him.”

“Maybe it does,” she mused, her gaze had drifted across the room. Again, she returned to meet his eyes, a seriousness now taking over her. “But that doesn’t change my feelings for you, or my loyalties.”

He seemed to be searching her face for any suggestion that she reciprocated Doggett’s affections but, for her, the relationship went no further than a professional concern.

“I’m really worried about him, Mulder,” she quietly reaffirmed. “I always had you – and then him – to watch my back, to support me, to look out for me. He doesn’t have that now.”

“He’ll be fine,” he reassured her, but she wasn’t convinced, especially given how badly his first case had gone. “And, if he’s not fine, I promise you that I will go back out there and save his ass again. Any excuse to piss off Kersh!”

She grinned at him and the final shackles of annoyance and tension between them dissipated.

“If there’s one thing Agent Doggett and I do agree on (aside from the fact that you are beautiful, apparently) is that you need to look after yourself and the baby now, and forget about work. Forget about the X-files.”

As they looked at one another they both sensed the finality of their role on the X-files. It was the end of that journey. They had both severed their ties with the work they had lived for in the past 8 or so years, the work that had brought them together, that their love had been built upon. It was over for them; they had left it behind them. They were facing an unclear future; one in which they were still unsure how their relationship would function with the impending birth of a child who was already shrouded in mystery and fear.

“It’s hard to say goodbye to it all,” her voice quiet. “I won’t go back. I can’t keep racing around the country anymore with a baby in tow. It’s so strange to know it’s over. But I don’t want to do it without you at my side.” Her voice strained against her grief as tears welled in her eyes.

“I know,” he shared the twinge of sadness and he put his arm around her and pulled her into him, kissing the top of her head. “It’s the end of that part of our lives. But we have so much to look forward to now.”

She was surprised with how at ease he was about being thrown out of the FBI, to be removed from the work he had been so passionate about. She’d thought he’d be devastated, lost, but he seemed fine and it was her who was grieving, her who was scared of letting go. Perhaps one of the reasons she felt such a need for him to be with her, to hold her close, was because she had lost so much of him; initially literally, physically lost, and now through losing his work, the work that had joined them together. She was afraid. Afraid of what was being lost, afraid of what they might gain, or gain and then have promptly ripped away from them if their child turned out to be an experiment not of their making.

It occurred to her that he seemed older, wiser, more settled and content than she had ever known him. The ordeal he had been through had been so traumatic, the shock of returning to her pregnancy, the frustration about Doggett and the loss of his life’s work were all so recent and yet he seemed released; freed from all the pain and damage, ready to move forward, to simply be the man she loved, the man who loved her completely. And yet that jarred with the knowledge that he was still suffering horrific flashbacks and anxiety attacks from his abduction; it seemed so contradictory, but perhaps it was that pain, that horror, which now enabled him to face the future with such stillness and joy?

“So what are we going to eat?” he asked her. Hunger had set in and he got up from the couch and moved towards the kitchen. She went to get up, but he stopped her.

“I could cook something,” she complained as he told her to stay where she was.

“No. The doctor said rest and you are going to rest.”

“But you can’t cook, Mulder!”

“This is, er, very true.” He was opening and closing kitchen cupboards looking for anything easy that even he could attempt to make. “Er, yeah, no, how about I order in a pizza?”

She laughed as he looked over at her, defeated by his culinary ineptitude.

“Mulder,” she giggled. “How you manage to stay in such good shape when you eat so much crap I will never understand.”

“Oh, so you think I look good, hey?” he playfully responded.

“Shut up Mulder.”

“Am I right in thinking that you want me to use your regular pizza delivery guy?”

“You know it. It’s speed dial 5.”

He laughed at that. “And you’re saying I’m bad?! I don’t have take outs on my speed dial!”

“No, Mulder, we both know what you have on your speed dial,” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Well, erm, yeah, I used to, but then I started seeing this woman from work so I call her now.”

Her favourite pizza guy delivered their dinner and, not forgetting having to call 911 last time he’d dropped off her order, he checked that she was ok and looked surprised she was still pregnant. As he closed the door, pizza in hand, Mulder turned and played back his amused suspicious pizza guy face at her.

“Mmm that’s so good!” she licked her fingers after managing a few slices.

He smiled at her, suddenly finding himself flushed with love as he watched her. He was overwhelmed by her beauty, by the strength of emotion he felt for her, by the joy that he was there beside her. She looked over at him and cocked her head to one side, an intrigued look on her face. He shrugged and smiled at her, and remembered how he had done that before, when they first kissed.

“So,” he started. “I should give the medallion back to Agent Doggett, should I?”

He was too in love with her to care about the medallion any more.

“If you are ok with that,” she responded.

“I think I am, yes,” he realised. “I have you and that’s worth so much more than an Apollo 11 souvenir.”

She smiled at him. “Thank you. I know it wasn’t easy for you.”  
“I was thinking we should go to see him and Agent Harrison at the hospital tomorrow, see how they’re getting on,” he said half-distracted as he started clearing up dinner. “Do you want me to put the leftovers in the fridge for tomorrow?”

“Yes please,” she chimed, “I can’t guarantee it will be there in the morning though... I often get munchies in the middle of the night.”

“And you think I have the bad diet!”

“I’m pregnant!”

“That is not an excuse.”

He walked back over to her and smiled.

“Have you met Agent Harrison before?” he asked as he handed her a tub of Ben and Jerry’s along with a spoon.

“You’re too good to me,” she grinned as she took her first mouthful. “No, I haven’t. What’s she like?”

“Young!” he deadpanned her. “And she’s really obsessed with our work.”

“What?”

“She’s like a fan,” he still couldn’t believe it. “She knows all our cases. It’s a bit weird.”

“A fan?” she was bemused. “Well I hope she doesn’t tell Kersh that... Her career would be over before it starts!”

He huffed a little laugh, still distracted by Scully’s maternal beauty, loving her every smile and the sparkle in her eyes. “I think her first case might be her last. I don’t think she was ready for the danger levels of the supernatural. I know she’d love to meet you though so maybe we should pop in and see her.”

Her eyes fixed on him, a questioning look in her eyes. “Just how pretty is this young Agent Harrison, Mulder?”

He laughed. “Contrary to what some in the FBI may say, I’m a one-woman man, and I don’t think I’ve actually properly looked at another woman in a few years now.”

He couldn’t quite believe how she had melted his defences, how she had opened up his heart and now filled him with unfathomable love. He also couldn’t fully comprehend why he’d been so angry with her; she loved him. She had always loved him and it was insane thinking she had moved on whilst he was away. And then it hit him.

“If this baby is a normal, healthy human,” he paused, “then I’m going to be a father, a real father, aren’t I?”

She couldn’t quite believe what he’d just said. For someone so adept at profiling criminals, it had always amused her how useless he was dealing with his own emotions.

“Yes, Mulder, I guess you are,” she gently responded, putting the ice cream down on the coffee table.

“Just a guess?!” She was relieved he had a mischievous grin on his face and that they weren’t heading back down the rabbit hole of angst he loved to brood in.

“An educated guess,” she shot back grinning at him.

“I’m going to be a useless father,” his eyes were suddenly wide open and panic was writ over his face.

“You’ll be fine,” she laughed. “You’ll get the hang of it, or we’ll laugh at you trying.” She paused and then her voice softened, slowed, her words chosen carefully, “You will surprise yourself, Mulder, but you’re going to be fine. I think that this love that we have, that created this child, will just overflow in us both and whatever struggles we have with parenthood will be nothing to the joy it brings us.”

She saw his smile grow as his gaze moved up and down between her face and her bump. He reached out and placed his hand lovingly on her belly and she looked down at it before back at him, her eyes beaming with her love.

“If it’s a boy, I could teach him baseball,” he smiled.

“Why only if it’s a boy?!” she scrunched her face up, as though affronted by the idea that he wouldn’t think to teach a girl. “I used to play baseball all summer with my brothers and the other kids on the base!”

Her eyes widened as she realised what she’d just said and she bit her lip and looked away hoping he didn’t notice, her face creasing up with guilt and giggle.

“You? Played baseball? As a kid?!” he punctuated each part of the question and she could see his eyes twinkling with as much humour as shock. “You told me you’d found better things to do with your time than play baseball!”

Her face broke and she burst into giggles. “I did.”

“You lied to me! I can’t believe this Scully!” He too was laughing now.

“But it was my birthday present, Mulder,” she looked at him with puppy-dog eyes.

“So you pretended not to know baseball so that you could get up close and personal with me?”

“Well that’s why you’d invited me, wasn’t it?”

“I am stunned, shocked,” he played his part well as they giggled like naughty school kids. “I can’t believe you fibbed!”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Mulder,” she began. “I had chosen to go into work at 8am on a sunny Saturday, hauling newspaper archives down to the basement, because I wanted to spend time with you. Naturally you didn’t register that I was there because I just wanted to be with you and raced out, leaving me... So I figured you owed me that birthday present.”

He grinned at her. “So which was your favourite? The baseball or the medallion?”

“The baseball, without a doubt.”

“Meh,” he shrugged. “Doggett can have the medallion.” He carelessly tossed it on the coffee table. “I’ll play baseball with you.”

He stayed until late in the evening, until she had grown sleepy and needed to head to bed. He had helped pull her up from the sofa and into his arms as they giggled about her enormity and her struggle to manoeuvre. She was gathered up in his arms, him holding her close for a moment before they moved apart slightly and looked at one another, matching each other’s soft, loving gaze. He had kissed her on her forehead, before embracing her again. She had missed holding him close, the comforting, familiar smell, the security of him wrapping his arms around her, the fulfilment of knowing that she belonged and was completed when he was beside her.

“I love you,” he mumbled into the top of her head.

“I know,” she responded, her voice sleepy and muffled by his chest.

They loosened their embrace and she started to waddle to her bedroom.

“Come to bed, Mulder” she turned back to him, with flirtation sparkling in her eyes.

“Really?” he cautiously enquired. “You know I still struggle to sleep, to get to sleep. I have nightmares about... I don’t want to disturb you.”

“I don’t mind,” she reassured him. “I don’t particularly sleep well myself with the little punch bag squishing my bladder.”

He didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay by her side forever, and could see her thoughts matched his as she looked into his eyes. He nodded and followed her to bed. He loved how she had always seemed to fit perfectly against him as he spooned her and nuzzled into her neck.

“I never let Agent Doggett stay over,” she sleepily grinned and he let out a little affectionate grunt as he tightened his embrace.

“Good morning,” she softly smiled as his eyes fluttered open whilst she clambered back into bed after another toilet trip. He was still too sleepy to articulate words but his face showed his contentment. He lifted his arm to allow her to snuggle in as far as their unborn child would allow. She was facing him now, and her fingers idly traced down the side of his face, neck, across his shoulder before resting against his chest. He was barely conscious, his eyes still heavy with sleep, unwilling to wake up, but she watched his mouth curl upwards at her ministrations.

“Keep doing that, Agent Scully, and we will have a situation over here,” his voice thick with sleep and his eyes still firmly shut.

She giggled. “Oh I thought it was too late for that warning Agent Mulder, I definitely felt something when I woke up.”

He huffed a little giggle. “It’s the morning,” he was waking up now. “I can’t help it when I wake up with a beautiful woman in my arms. It’s been a while since that last happened.” He opened his eyes and seemed to pause to take her all in.

“It’s been nearly 9 months,” she grinned back at him.

“Hmm. It feels like it’s been 9 months too,” his eyes fell to her lips and she subconsciously licked them as her eyes twinkled. “So Doctor Scully...”

“It’s ‘Doctor Scully' now is it?”

“Doctor Scully,” he repeated. “What are we allowed to do about this situation I have down here?”

She rolled her eyes, and couldn’t stop herself from grinning. She’d missed this; missed him. “I’m not sure there’s much we can do...”

“Ughhhh!” he groaned frustrated and rolled on to his back, looking away from her in a feigned huff, before his head rolled back to look at her. “Are you absolutely sure about that? I mean could you just...”

“Mulder!” she exclaimed mock-annoyed. “So what? I sort out your situation and can have nothing in return?!”

“Now, hey there,” he countered. “I would be more than happy to sort you out in return, but if doctor’s orders...”

“Well if I can’t then I think you can wait too,” she kept the light fun tone.

“How about if I just put it in a little bit?” he begged.

“Mulder, don’t...”

He propped himself up on his elbow and she felt his hand stroking down her neck, across her collarbone and slowly meandered down to her breasts. His touch was like pure electricity and she closed her eyes as though not seeing it would make his hand lose its power, but ultimately it only meant her sense of touch became more acute. She felt him lean in and kiss the edge of her jaw, down to her neck and following the path his hand had already set on fire.

“Mulder...”

His mouth against hers stopped her from saying any more and she felt herself go light-headed, overwhelmed by the sensation of him, desire for him. She didn’t want him to stop but she knew she had to and finally found the strength to pull away.

“C’mon Mulder, no fair,” her eyes sadly begging him to stop. “The baby, the abruption.”

He sighed and his head dropped disappointed. He looked down at her bump, cocked his head to one side and his hand went down to stroke her swollen belly, and she saw his expression change from lust to devotion and she couldn’t help but beam at him, even though a part of her wanted his hand to drop further down and finish off what he’d started a few minutes earlier. She stayed watching him for a while, until her arousal died down.

“You slept well,” she commented. “You didn’t seem to have any nightmares.”

He looked up at her, and she could see the damage in his eyes. “No, I didn’t... I can’t remember when I last slept that well.”

“And despite me getting up a couple of times to pee!” she laughed.

He acknowledged the joke, but his spirit had dropped. “Thank you for letting me stay,” he whispered. 

She tilted her head as she took him in and smiled as a realisation set in. “Mulder,” she started, suddenly overwhelmed with a confidence. He looked up at her and she knew her face was beaming at him, and his expression showed her that he was intrigued by what she was about to say. A small inner voice questioned her but she chose to ignore it. “You could stay.” She paused to assess his reaction. “It would be easier for when I go into labour; you would be on hand...”

He kissed her and all her thoughts disappeared. There was only him.

He said goodbye to her and stepped out of the room. She had told him that she wouldn’t be returning to work alongside him and the void he had briefly felt two days before, when Agent Scully had left on maternity leave, settled on him once more with a sense of permanency. Agent Harrison was very young and had discovered the hard way that working on the X-files wasn’t all fun and mystery. He sighed as he closed the door behind him and, as he turned to walk away, he saw them. 

Immediately he thought they were there for the birth and excitedly asked if this was it, but then there was something different, something almost imperceptible; the brief look between the former partners, and their joint chuckle and “No” spoke volumes.

His predecessor, Agent Mulder, seemed far more relaxed than he had been previously, positively friendly even. Suddenly overnight Mulder had switched from jealous, threatened, arrogant asshole to someone contented and at ease. She also seemed much lighter and, in their mirrored behaviour, he could see the depth of their friendship, of their love for each other. This was not a pair of FBI partners, this was a couple deeply in love, devoted to one another, looking forward to the birth of their first child; this was a married couple. And it cut him to his core.

He realised that, as much as he’d tried to tell himself otherwise, he did have feelings for Agent Scully. He didn’t mean or intend to, but he had become very protective of her and, whilst he knew she was dedicated to finding Agent Mulder, he had hoped that over time she would move on. Once Mulder had miraculously returned, he had struggled to see how she could care for this angry, resentful man, who seemed to be determined to belittle him. He couldn’t see how someone like her could love that and she seemed to be getting a fair amount of Mulder's bitterness directed at her as well. He had seen her confused, hurt, put down by him and he didn’t understand why she held him in such esteem, but over the last couple of weeks he had detected a softening of Mulder's behaviour towards her, if not to him.

Now here they were. There was no doubt between them, no animosity. Only happiness and joy. Only love. Something had happened, had restored them but, in so doing, he had been rejected. Well, rejected by her and accepted by him. And it wasn’t truly a rejection by her, because her esteem for him hadn’t changed; she still liked, cared for and respected him as she had yesterday, but today... Today she was whole, at peace, joyful, and she was that because of Mulder. He could never have made her shine like Mulder did, he could never complete her like he did. They were truly, deeply in love.

She asked how Agent Harrison was doing; her concern genuine and caring. She seemed saddened when he told her that it was going to be just him for a while covering the X-files, but there wasn’t the same level of sadness in her eyes as two days ago. She seemed more accepting that that was his path now, knowing her path could only be the one with Mulder, that theirs was a journey only they could walk together.

His jealousy and annoyance gone, Mulder pulled something out of his pocket and held it out to him.

“I want to return something to you that I think you deserve to keep.”

It was the Apollo 11 medallion Mulder had gifted Scully years before, presumably before they were a couple, and that she had passed on to him. He had been worried about how Mulder would react when she gave it to him, sure that it would have only enhanced his disdain but, here he was, happily returning it to him, accepting him and his role leading the X-files. He knew that this meant that Scully must have left him in no doubt that she was in love with him, and that nothing and no one could break that, and that put pay to any hopes he could have.

He couldn’t accept the medallion, the symbol of Mulder and Scully’s relationship together, and suddenly realised that Agent Harrison was a far more worthy and appreciative recipient and suggested they give it to her. He knew Agent Harrison would be so touched by them just visiting her, let alone gifting her something so personal, and he stepped aside as they went into her room. He stayed outside but watched through the window and saw the joy in Harrison’s face as she hardly knew what to say. She then asked them a question he didn’t quite hear but he saw how the two of them responded, a marital bickering, filled with love and humour for one another. There was no one who could surmount their love, no one who could even come close to Mulder for her and he bowed his head slightly in defeat and let her go.


End file.
